I am obsessed with finding out who I'm gonna date next.

Yet I actually don't make any effort towards finding someone. In fact, going through the process of putting yourself out there mildly disgusts me. I never understood why people go to dinner on a first date, frankly I find that too intimate. Dinner with someone you don't know has disaster written all over it. You're telling me I have to chew food while trying to impress someone? for 2 hours?? I curse the person who popularized this practice.

The best part of seeing someone new is all the fake scenarios you play in your head. I find that mine are always admittedly quite shallow. I imagine that our first photo on instagram breaks the internet cause we look great together.